Humor is one of humanity’s oldest and most universal traits. Even thousands of years ago, people were cracking jokes—some of which are surprisingly similar to the ones we tell today. From ancient Sumerian tablets to Egyptian papyri, archaeologists have uncovered jokes that prove laughter truly is timeless.
In this article, we’ll explore 10 of the oldest recorded jokes that still manage to get a chuckle today. Whether it’s a cheeky one-liner from ancient Rome or a bawdy tavern joke from medieval Europe, these gags prove that comedy hasn’t changed as much as we might think.
Table of Contents
- The Sumerian Donkey Joke (1900 BCE)
- The Egyptian Pharaoh’s Bar Joke (1600 BCE)
- The Oldest Knock-Knock Joke (Ancient Greece, 4th Century BCE)
- The Roman Emperor’s Last Words (1st Century CE)
- The Viking “Your Mom” Insult (10th Century)
- The Medieval “Doctor, Doctor” Joke (14th Century)
- Shakespeare’s Dirty Pun (16th Century)
- Benjamin Franklin’s Bawdy Riddle (18th Century)
- The Oldest Political Joke (Ancient Rome, 1st Century CE)
- A 4,000-Year-Old Pickup Line (Ancient Sumeria)
1. The Sumerian Donkey Joke (1900 BCE)
Discovered on a clay tablet in Mesopotamia, this is the oldest known joke in history.
“Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”
At first glance, this might not seem like a joke, but in context, it’s a sarcastic remark implying that such a thing is impossible—because, of course, everyone farts. The Sumerians had a surprisingly modern sense of humor, proving that toilet humor is truly timeless.
2. The Egyptian Pharaoh’s Bar Joke (1600 BCE)
Found in the Westcar Papyrus, this joke involves a drunken pharaoh and a boat full of women.
“How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? Sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.”
This joke plays on the stereotype of rulers being easily distracted by pleasure—something that still resonates today. The punchline relies on the absurdity of the situation, making it one of the earliest examples of situational comedy.
3. The Oldest Knock-Knock Joke (Ancient Greece, 4th Century BCE)
Attributed to the philosopher Diogenes, this joke follows the classic knock-knock format.
Knock knock. Who’s there? “I am Diogenes the Cynic!” “Diogenes the Cynic who?” “Diogenes the Cynic—the one who walks around with a lamp in broad daylight looking for an honest man!”
Diogenes was known for his sharp wit, and this joke mocks his own reputation as a truth-seeker. The structure is eerily similar to modern knock-knock jokes, showing that some comedic formulas never go out of style.
4. The Roman Emperor’s Last Words (1st Century CE)
Emperor Vespasian, on his deathbed, delivered this legendary quip.
“Oh dear, I think I’m becoming a god.”
Roman emperors were often deified after death, and Vespasian’s dry remark about his impending divinity is both darkly humorous and self-aware. It’s a joke that still works today, especially in contexts where people take themselves too seriously.
5. The Viking “Your Mom” Insult (10th Century)
Found in Norse sagas, this insult proves that “your mom” jokes are ancient.
“Your mother is so fat, when she sits on a horse, it turns into a boat.”
The Vikings were known for their brutal humor, and this insult from the Lokasenna (a collection of Norse poems) shows that they loved a good roast. The structure is identical to modern “your mom” jokes, proving that some insults never go out of fashion.
6. The Medieval “Doctor, Doctor” Joke (14th Century)
This joke appears in a 14th-century manuscript, showing that medical humor is nothing new.
Patient: “Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a pair of curtains!” Doctor: “Pull yourself together!”
The pun is simple but effective, playing on the double meaning of “pull yourself together.” This joke is still told today, often as part of classic “doctor, doctor” routines.
7. Shakespeare’s Dirty Pun (16th Century)
The Bard was a master of wordplay, including some very cheeky jokes.
“Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous.” “You lie, in your throat!” “Ay, in your throat—in your other throat!”
This exchange from Henry IV, Part 1 is a not-so-subtle reference to oral sex. Shakespeare’s plays are full of innuendos that would make a modern audience blush, proving that bawdy humor has always been popular.
8. Benjamin Franklin’s Bawdy Riddle (18th Century)
Found in Franklin’s personal papers, this riddle is as cheeky as it gets.
“Why is a man like a candle?” “Because he has a head full of tallow, burns at both ends, and is often snuffed out by a woman.”
Franklin was known for his wit, and this joke plays on the double entendre of “snuffing out” a candle—and a man’s life. It’s a classic example of risqué humor from the 1700s.
9. The Oldest Political Joke (Ancient Rome, 1st Century CE)
This joke mocks politicians—something that never gets old.
“A man meets a politician and says, ‘I wouldn’t vote for you if you were the last man on Earth!’ The politician replies, ‘If I were the last man on Earth, you wouldn’t have a choice!’
Political satire has been around since the dawn of civilization, and this Roman joke shows that people have always been skeptical of their leaders.
10. A 4,000-Year-Old Pickup Line (Ancient Sumeria)
This flirtatious line was found on a cuneiform tablet.
“You are beautiful like the moon, your breasts are like wine… let me kiss you!”
Even in ancient times, people used cheesy pickup lines. This one, while poetic, is also hilariously forward—proving that some dating tactics never change.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the oldest joke in the world?
The oldest recorded joke is a Sumerian fart joke from around 1900 BCE, found on a clay tablet.
Did ancient people have the same sense of humor as us?
Yes! Many ancient jokes rely on puns, sarcasm, and toilet humor—just like modern comedy.
Why do some ancient jokes still make us laugh?
Because humor often plays on universal human experiences (like embarrassment, absurdity, or wordplay), making it timeless.
Were ancient jokes always dirty?
Not all, but many were! Just like today, people enjoyed bawdy humor, especially in informal settings.
Where can I find more ancient jokes?
Many are preserved in historical texts, such as the Philogelos (an ancient Greek joke book) or medieval manuscripts.
Final Thoughts
Humor is one of the few things that truly connects us across millennia. Whether it’s a fart joke from Sumeria or a political jab from Rome, these ancient gags prove that laughter has always been a fundamental part of human culture.
So the next time you hear a joke that feels familiar, remember—it might just be thousands of years old!
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